How to Trust Again: Moving on After a Painful Breakup or Divorce Ever wondered why so many love songs involve heartbreaks? It is because breakups and divorces affect us all. Recovering from a breakup is one of the hardest things to do. It leaves a lot of questions and uncertainty about the future. Some people spend years without healing from the wounds left by a painful goodbye. In most cases, a painful breakup puts people on the defensive. It makes them more cautious, more suspicious, and less open to love.

So how do you go about recovering from a painful breakup? The following steps will help:

Grieving is OK

Being sad is not a bad thing. It is letting the sadness take over your life that you have to worry about. And if you do not pause to recognize your emotions and give yourself time to adjust to the loss, the sadness will become bigger. Giving yourself time to heal is an important first step to getting over a breakup. It also speeds up the healing process, allowing you to slowly adjust to your new life. Even if the relationship wasn’t exactly a strong one, you’re still likely to feel some degree of loss.

You may feel the loss of emotional, financial, social, or intellectual support.
You may feel the loss of companionship.
You may feel the loss of your hopes and dreams

The good thing about grieving is that it reduces with time. As the days go by, you will start spending a little more time with friends, you will smile more, and you will even go hours without thinking about your ex-partner. You will find it easier to adjust to your new situation, which will put you that much faster on a recovery course.

Accept That It Is Over

You might be thinking that at some point you two will get back together again. Maybe he or she will realize their mistake and turn up at your door. You might be feeling like it could happen. However, you cannot let yourself think this. Instead, accept that your old relationship, whatever the dynamics, is over. You will not be able to move on until you do this. If he or she does not want you, or does not appreciate what a fantastic person you are, then they really do not deserve your attention.

Surround Yourself With Friends

You know the whole “sitting alone in the dark with a tub of ice cream” move? Do not do that. If you must eat ice cream in the dark, do it with people you trust. Sharing your emotions with your family and friends is an emotional purging process. It gives you the opportunity to let loose all your negative emotional energy. Isolating yourself on the other hand will increase your stress levels and make you hurt more. When you are along, you are also more likely to make mistakes, like calling your ex or trying to win him or her back.

Form New Friendships

After being together for years, it is normal for couples to share the same circle of friends. Turning to these people may feel uncomfortable or a little weird after a breakup. If you find yourself in this situation, make an effort to make new friends. Look for opportunities to meet new people. You could try joining a special interest club, a place of worship, or participate in some community organization.

Pursue Your Interests

One of the upsides to a separation (yes, there are upsides) is that it gives you time to chase hobbies you have always wanted to try. Maybe you have always wanted to study a new language, sign up for an art class, or go trekking across the Himalayas. Invest the free time you have in doing something you have always loved. It will help blunt the pain of your grief and ensure that you are dwelling in the present and not the mistakes of your past. If you do not have any special interests, try to build a new regular routine. Having a structured routine that you wake up to, everyday is invaluable.

Pamper Yourself

Give yourself a treat: Listen to music, get a massage, and enjoy a long luxuriating soak in the tub. Every day, look for fun ways of nurturing yourself. Choose activities that you find soothing. For instance, you can sign up for a yoga class, or go on long works. Taking some time for yourself after a breakup helps the healing process.

Stay Healthy

Do not go on alcohol binges. They may dull your emotions for a bit, but when you wake up, all the feelings will come crashing in and it’ll feel even more painful, which in turn will encourage you to drink some more. It can lead to a vicious cycle that can quickly get out of control. For similar reasons, try to control your diet during the early months. Emotional eating is very common after a breakup, but the added weight will not do you any good. It is also advisable to avoid making any major life decisions after a break-up. Do not quit your job, move out of town, or get a large tattoo across your back just yet. Wait until you are feeling less emotional so you do not make a decision that you will end up regretting.

The Wrap

Every year, millions of people suffer heartbreaks. Recovering from a breakup is not easy. You will need time. In the early weeks of a breakup, you may feel like love is impossible and that you will never find a good relationship. However, as the days go by and the pain eases, you’ll find that your heart has become open to accepting new people.